I don't understand, but every time I go to my local church, my preacher attempts to put a potato in my intimate places! Why does he do this? Should I feel guilty for liking it? Please help me!
- hopeless unbeliever
Dear hopeless shitbag. Yor preacher ain't right. He should know he supposed to mash them dadburn potatos afore he uses 'em. An' ifn' you use butter, it won't hurt nary a bit! You should know that this is a natural thang and you shouldn't feel guilty nor eem-barrased 'bout it. Talk to yer doctor if'n ya have any compleecashuns.